I jammed my hand last week when I tripped on a box in a narrow, unlit hallway. The box contained a heavy piece of equipment. It didn’t budge. I landed with my right hand jammed against a door frame. It’s similar to a volleyball injury.
When I played volleyball in high school, these types of injuries happened from time to time. They felt like no big deal then. I wasn’t enjoying piano lessons and had not yet made a career choice.
Now, however, this sort of injury is terribly frightening. It suddenly brings a great deal of vulnerability into focus. After all, I moved to a new State for employment purposes just 3 months ago. And that employment depends on my being able to play.
While choosing activities from day to day, I have made an effort to seek balance. I don’t want to do music all the time, every minute. I have other interests.
But this injury has made it all too clear what is most important in my life.
Today I was able to practice for the first time in 5 days. The swelling is receding, and obvious bruising never happened. I can move my fingers without pain. The knuckle area at the palm feels crowded.
So, I know tomorrow will be better.
My teacher slammed his hand in a door once, just 2 hours before a concert. He told me that there are only so many fingerings you can redo in an hour!
And my stepmother, who recently fell and is now home following surgery for a subdural hematoma, told me to be more careful. You know what falls can do.
Just the fact that I can write about this is an indication of emotional progress. I was devastasted last week, and frightened.